The summer getaways are a wrap.  I have had a total of 4 separate outings varying from 2 to 4 days at a shot.  As mentioned in the past, this is no small feat when you run a farm of any size.  Thanks to great help from family and friends, there were minimal amounts of crisis-moments ranging from cats consuming pies and cakes meant for market to waterbirth-chick-hatch-coaching via telephone instruction.

I am, sadly, on the eve of the “Last Day” of the college kids being home. Tonight I have been busy dreaming up the menu for the last family dinner of the summer, trying to include all of their favorite dishes.  Tomorrow will be busy for all of the regular reasons, and a little more so with packing two different vehicles for two different directions.

I planted three fruit trees late this afternoon, one for each child.  A peach and two plums.  I dug deep holes with a broken shovel, filled them with worm-wriggling manure from the pile out back, ran the hose into the pit and placed the pot-bound, discounted saplings into their new homes.

What kind of advice can I give myself when I’m feeling this low?  I have certainly learned great lessons from the past and can apply them.  I have some wisdom.  But in the end, right now, it is still not my favorite place to be.

No worries, truly, it’s just a tedious process which I have to sort out.

And look!  I discovered this, for me, and my school-bound kiddoes:

Aim for success, not perfection. Never give up your right to be wrong, because then you will lose the ability to learn new things and move forward with your life. Remember that fear always lurks behind perfectionism.
David M. Burns

Rock on, Mr. Burns.

12 responses to “Back

    • Thanks, Co! Remember a few years ago when you and Mar had to pull me up after Jod first left? Can you believe he’s a senior now?! Still don’t love “back to school” around here – the homeschool mom in me doesn’t quit! However, I do know it’s a blink before they’re home on break and also, Char and I have a super-busy semester ahead to keep us occupied. Thanks for the virtual visit, when you coming by for real? I wanna try them pickles!

  1. Beautiful post, dear friend. Today I saw my grandson to the first grade, in the same way that I had seen his father. I’m finding that our children need us even when grown, for many years, until it is time for us to move on to heaven. You have years to go yet as a mother!

    • Oh my, oh my! What a flip your heart must’ve taken when you found yourself in the first grade classroom with your grandson. I’m all filled up for you, Curtiss Ann!
      It’s ironic that we recognize the joys of being needed when we sense we are needed less. Also, I find change and transition difficult, always. But I have at least developed better coping strategies and quicker healing methods. And gosh darn it, I wished I known to blog years before now! This writing-community support is amazing.
      Thank you so very kindly. You’re an angel.

      • So yesterday I went into the school lunch room kitchen. The same exact smell from when =I= was in school. And everything looked the same as when I was about 10 years old and helping in the school kitchen, except I was bigger. I didn’t feel any bigger. 🙂

  2. Hang in there Tammy. Having been there and back again I can tell you that there’s life after departures of the sort you are experiencing right now. Certainly the farm will keep you occupied during the difficult days and weeks ahead. And then, it’ll be Fall Break, then Thanksgiving, and then Christmas. And then … time to lamb and kid and all that good stuff and the kiddos will be back home by then – no fears – no worries – be happy. Our kids don’t really leave though … do they? They just continue to need us at a bit of a distance. In this age of Skype and email and all-the-rest they really aren’t that far away. Hang in there and go give a lamb a hug. D

    • Hugging lambs is just the best, isn’t it? You always know just exactly what to say. Started cheering myself this afternoon with thoughts of perhaps adding an Alpaca to the barn this coming year. But there really is PLENTY to do without adding livestock, so I will probably just start the thinking process and explore the notion more intently in a couple of years.
      Meanwhile, you are right. We do have many opportunities to be in touch. And the breaks come fast, time swooshes by.
      But Switzerland, right? That’s where the wedding was? So I guess you all know just what I’m talking about! Not exactly next door to PA. 🙂

  3. Despite your feeling low about the house emptying out, you were a great host – I was feeling a little down myself, having spent more time away from the girls than I like to – and you sent me running across a lawn with sheep. Nothing could have been better for me – and Fray was so eager to talk about it when I got home.

    Always inspired by your endless projects, love for your children, and energy. xx

    • So sad to think of you feeling down. You make really good decisions, M, don’t second-guess your mothering.
      I think now that you have had the sheep-run to start your week, it will fuel you for the rest of this stint. Pulling burrs from wooly coats will also contribute to your wellness.
      Lastly, I hadn’t doctored my index finger quickly enough after sweeping my earring out of Yogi’s mouth this morning, and therefore I have a lovely and steady(throbbing!) reminder of our visit. Nice distraction to the heartache.
      Thanks for the so-lovely words.

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